Sample content for a pre-school chain

Preschool Children and Independence

The expression of independence and the assertion of individuality are 2 of the most prominent qualities demonstrated by children right from their infancy up to the onset of schooling. If we park aside scientific facts for a moment, the unborn child kicking from inside the womb can perhaps be viewed as an early expression of independence, of the longing to be unbound, or even of communicating its likes and dislikes!

Plainly speaking, preschool is the period before schooling. It is the time when the new-born grows up from its state of acute dependence to a child which begins to explore and express its ability to do things on its own. Here, we could possibly sit back and visualize a replay on the blank wall opposite to us, of all things that made parenthood worthwhile!

Fifty to sixty years ago, newborn babies would not even open their eyes for weeks on end. No wonder then that the youngest child that went to school in those days was some 42 to 48 months old. The child would then spend a year at the Nursery section, and move on to formal school education when it started Class One.

In contrast today, newborns are posing happily for a selfie with their proud mothers just a day after taking birth, looking into the camera with their shiny eyes wide open. Precocious, isn’t it? It is therefore not a surprise that they are given marching orders much, much earlier.

Technically then, preschool is not just the period when the child rules the home; it is now common to see children over 2 ½ years of age leave home and attend some form of daily engagement where they ‘learn’ or ‘receive’ something different from home.

Most Governments have made primary schooling (from Class 1) compulsory and Govt. school fees affordable, with the intention of surmounting enrollment challenges to a significant extent. Pre-school, however, was initially sought more for the convenience it offered to parents– with both of them often working outside the home – and guardians, rather than the benefits it offered to the child. As preschool services are offered by Government and private entities alike, affordability remains a significant decisive factor in providing early education.

Accordingly there are many options within this space, carrying different labels and offering varied benefits. There are instances where 3 to 5-month old infants have been handed over to informal caretakers, operating mostly out of their homes and calling themselves as ‘babysitters’. Few other titles we come across are crèche, daycare, play home/group and child care agency.

Preschool children could sometimes spend as little as 2-3 hours away from home. Despite the short duration, this outing trains them in a few vital ways, ranging from basic hand-to-mouth coordination to taking care of themselves (such as opening their lunchboxes, eating & drinking without creating a mess, and storing away their belongings), interacting with others, learning to speak (including many new words) and sing, toilet training as in informing the caretaker of their need to visit the washroom, wishing elders and peers, offering help & support, and other such things. It acts as a preparation to formal schooling that is imminent in the near future.

Preschool is the term commonly used in the UK & the USA for an institution that fulfills the educational requirements of infants in their early childhood, i.e., children of age between 3 and 5 years. Also called the kindergarten or nursery school in other places, it is the establishment that provides for the learning needs of children before they move on to primary school.

In fact, given the faster evolution that is observed in the newborns and infants today, coupled with the urban/semi-urban phenomenon of single-child nuclear families, parents often tend to give up on controlling or disciplining their wards very early on and quite often have to resort to cajoling them.

This being the situation, the pre-school becomes an important – and in a few cases – the first-ever place where (or the first instance when) the child receives an instruction (or a set of instructions), which the child, removed as it is from the familiar and reassuring surroundings & faces at home, instinctively recognizes and comprehends as non-negotiable. It is simply to be followed or complied with, however gently the instruction may have been given.

Pre-school thus becomes an important place where the child learns that compliance plays a significant role in being accepted and appreciated; it is a very valuable lesson in social behavior that is being reinforced at this stage.

Could it be a coincidence that when fish swim as a group, maintaining comfortable distances between each other, and yet pursuing a common direction – perhaps an objective as well – it is referred to as Schooling!

While this is happening, there is an equal and opposite reaction welling up inside the child: resistance. The need to break away from regimentation, the necessity of self-expression, the yearning for independence.

Just as humans are innately inquisitive, children too are supremely intelligent at an instinctive level. They can make out when they are being led into a situation which they do not relish – they rebel. It is perfectly human to rebel against authority and restrictions.

All this is not universal, however, as every child is unique. Some children could be naturally docile and consistently earn compliments like ‘good’ and ‘nice’ from the elders. Perhaps at some level, they have construed that this is the only or ideal way to earn brownie points, which can then be redeemed for goodies of their choice. On their part, parents too may be concerned about possible physical harm to the child and its attendant stress on their resources. Hence, they may try to condition the child to remain ‘good’ and ‘nice’.

However, a considerable number of children view it differently. To them, independence is of paramount importance. There may not be much clarity at this point about whether they seek to be free from control or even supervision. Yet, they recognize that compliance comes very handy in negotiating independence of whatever degree with the elders! Obey first, and the associated rewards can be worked out later. Thus, their obedience is governed by an objective!

This discussion could, in fact, set us thinking, we are talking about children who are less than 5 years old…. how important is independence to preschool children? What if it is not given? The very next instance, it occurs to us that the denial of independence – or call it freedom, liberty, autonomy – quite simply impacts the self-confidence of the child. How would we like it if the child continually seeks help, looks for guidance, waits for an instruction or expects approval all the time, before & after every activity? Rather than being obedient, the child is now subservient.

However, the expression of freedom or independence by a child is not dependent on whether it attends preschool or not! The question, ‘What if it is not given?’ is purely an adult premise. In the minds of children, there is no such need for gaining independence. It is theirs; that is why it is called as a birthright. So children will take it, assume it.

In this context, the teacher has to assume the accountability for managing the independence expressed differently by each child in such a way that no confrontation occurs amongst them. Children must be made to comprehend that Independence comes with an innate responsibility to display, practice and imbibe civil behavior.

While children’s natural tendencies are not to be curbed entirely, it may not be practical to allow their free expression either. The teacher may have to use suggestions and gentle persuasion to channel and guide their attention & energy in a positive direction. To the layman, the Montessori system of education seems to be a very efficient method of managing the sense of independence expressed by preschool children.

We could perhaps put things in perspective by borrowing a few of Kahlil Gibran’s words from ‘The Prophet’. Speaking about Children, he says,

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

I have cherished a fond thought over many years. Just as they say that God could not be present everywhere so he created mothers, it is also a fact that one cannot repay his/her parents’ debt completely during their lifetimes – a realization that probably dawns a trifle late for many of us – and that is why God gave children. Whatever you provide, you owe it to them.

These last few words may seem a tad philosophical in the here-and-now world that believes in tangible things to a great extent. But then, in the name of experience, do we let the child burn its fingers in a fire?